I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I could fuck to npr.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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