Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
