if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am one with the molecules
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
