Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
