Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
