I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize