My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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