toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
