I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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