dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
