me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
