I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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