Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
