I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
