i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
