True but thats because hes a fetus.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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