I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
