You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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