dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Someone shattered a urinal.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
