Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
