what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
