Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
