Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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