Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
