My friends, they love my intelligence
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
