Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
