this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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