Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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