Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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