Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
