my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I believe in your delicious
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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