im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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