i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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