xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize