I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
