Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Your dad touched me again.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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