My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize