I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
