HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
