2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
"it" just moved
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
