Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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