She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
