In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
