i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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