He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
