dude i'm inner monologue high
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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