i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
