With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
