problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
