Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
