Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
