I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
