Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
