Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize