I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize