i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
