guys are not supposed to queef...right?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
