Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
