are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
