Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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