I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
