At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize