he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize