Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
